


Living by Your Wedding Vows

by Nickygp



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Corny, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Parenthood, Progression Of Life, Snapshots, but good corny lol, mentions of all other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:49:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4934806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickygp/pseuds/Nickygp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I, take you, to be my husband, my partner in life, and my one true love.<br/>I will cherish our friendship, and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.<br/>I will trust you and honor you.<br/>I will laugh with you and cry with you.<br/>I will love you faithfully through the best, and the worst, through the difficult and the easy.<br/>What may come I will always be there.<br/>As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living by Your Wedding Vows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyEmrys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEmrys/gifts).



> So this fic is for my [best friend](http://trashbagauthor.tumblr.com/), whose birthday is today. 
> 
> You are one of the most wonderful people i know and I am so so fortunate to have you in my life. I love you babe. Happy birthday <3  
> \-----------------  
> Some people live for the fortune  
> Some people live just for the fame  
> Some people live for the power, yeah  
> Some people live just to play the game  
> Some people think that the physical things
> 
> Define what's within  
> And I've been there before  
> But that life's a bore  
> So full of the superficial
> 
> Some people want it all  
> But I don't want nothing at all  
> If it ain't you, baby  
> If I ain't got you, baby  
> Some people want diamond rings  
> Some just want everything  
> But everything means nothing  
> If I ain't got you, yeah
> 
> \- Alicia Keys

_I, Gary Unwin,_

 

Eggsy had never trusted love. Love was a foul, deceitful little thing that always made people’s hearts beat faster, made them high on adrenaline. Love made people forget that anything that goes up must eventually come down. Love had been nothing but a disappointment to Eggsy and those he cared for.

Love had made his mother suffer when his father had died protecting someone he had come to love like a friend, a mentor. Love had made his mother follow Dean blindly into an abusive marriage. Love had made his mother stay with that pig of a man to protect Eggsy from Dean after he had threatened to kill Eggsy if Michelle left. “Love” had brought Michelle to tears time and time again when Dean didn’t come home for two, three nights in a row because he was fucking some other woman he happened to fancy. Love had made Eggsy stand up for his mother, only to be beaten back down to the floor by Dean. Love had brought Eggsy to steal and to sleep around - from time to time - for money  just to have enough money to put bread on the table so that those he loved could eat. 

Love was a bitch, and Eggsy had never wanted to have anything to do with it. 

 

_Take you Harry Hart,_

 

That is, until he met Harry of course. 

He had helped Eggsy realize that love wasn’t so bad. In fact, Eggsy could now admit that love was actually _beautiful_. Love was a thing to be cherished, when one found the right person, of course.

Love was when Harry turned out to be alive and Eggsy actually fainted from relief. Love was Harry smiling at him, protecting him and his family, taking in Michelle and Daisy. Love was Harry helping out around the house, even when injured just so that Michelle wouldn’t have to worry and Eggsy could spend time with his sister. 

Love was quiet afternoons at home, and lazy kisses that sometimes turned into slow fucks that left him sleepy and happy. 

Love was more than he had ever imagined it could be. Love was something Eggsy needed as much as he needed air to breathed and food to eat. 

 

_I, Harry Hart,_

 

Harry had never had much time for love. It had always seemed so… silly. All relationships seemed to need so much attention, so much affection. It had frankly seemed so pointless for so many years, especially with his profession. Where the hell was he he to find the time to be there for the other person? Hell, he rarely spent time at home, and he rarely had enough down time to do much more than straighten out the house. 

A relationship had never been a distraction he could afford, not to mention, a relationship had always meant compromising yourself emotionally. It had meant willingly putting yourself and the other person in danger. 

“It makes men weak” Chester had once said to him.

Harry had not able to shake those words off. 

 

_Take you Gary Unwin,_

 

But - as always - the universe had proved him wrong by bitchslapping him in the face, throwing his life completely off kilter, and putting one Gary “Eggsy” Unwin in his path. 

He had - slowly but surely - learned to understand the meaning of the word love. He had learned that as Arthur, he could actually make the time for a relationship. He could make the time to sit down and watch a movie with the man he _loved_.  

He had learned that the fear and the hurt that came along with love were actually very much worth it. 

Love was… wonderfully refreshing, and more than a little bit scary, if he was honest. 

 

_to be my husband,_

 

The man at the front of the store gave Eggsy a once over, giving him a smirk full of contempt that reminded Eggsy of Charlie. Eggsy squared his jaw, stifling an eye roll. 

This was exactly why he fucking hated posh shops. It was fucking annoying to have to deal with people that immediately thought you were scum if you weren’t wearing a fucking three piece suit - not that he had anything against Harry’s beloved suits. It was just mind boggling to Eggsy, if he was honest, that people in customer service could be so rude in such a store. 

Yes, he knew he looked out of place - it was Saturday, and he had fucking refused to wear a suit - but had they not seen Pretty Woman? Because fucking Harry had made him watch that shit over five times and the one thing he had learned from watching that movie - apart from how freaking gorgeous Richard Gere was, and how effective it was to say that in front of Harry if he wanted to be possessively fucked six ways to Sunday - was that looks were deceiving. He had gotten himself his own Edward Lewis, and he had no fucking problem pulling a Vivian, thank you very much. 

“Can I help you?” Said the same man, clearly expecting Eggsy to leave. 

Eggsy’s eyes flashed with anger, before he stood up straight, his smile becoming sharp and feral. 

He really hated these posh assholes. 

“No, I don’t need no ‘elp,” Eggsy said in his thickest chav accent. “I just came to pick up a gift for me husband. It’s our third year anniversary in a week.” 

The man frowned at him, clearly not believing a word coming out of Eggsy’s mouth. “What’s your husband’s name? Perhaps I can go see if they have it ready.”

Eggsy gave him a half smirk, tilting his head to the side. “I ‘aven’t bought it yet. I wanted ‘im to take a look first.” 

The man’s brows shot up as he tried to hide and amused smirk. “Well, I ‘m sorry _sir,”_ the man said in a mocking tone, “but I don’t see your husband. Still, our prices are rather high, perhaps another store would be more suitable for you. ” 

Suddenly the door to the store opened and in came Harry, bringing with him Daisy. She was sitting placidly in his arms, smiling at Eggsy. 

“Hey flower,” he said as he kissed the young girl’s forehead. “Did ya ‘ave fun?”

“Yes, uncle ‘arry took me to a bookstore,” She said as she shoved a large bag into Eggsy’s hands. 

He chuckled, looking at the books inside. “Well, aren’t ya a smart little cookie.” He gave her a wink, turning to kiss Harry straight in the lips. 

Harry kissed him back with a small smile, picking up on Eggsy’s insistence as his mouth was devoured. He pulled away softly, his eyes warm and cozy as always. “Well now we’re here. What did you want to do?”

“Pick a locket,” Eggsy said with a small smiled, his eyes shining with excitement. He motioned with his head to what’s his face, not even glancing at the man. “He can ‘elp yeh if ya need sumthin’” 

Harry smiled, not questioning Eggsy as he moved to do as he was told. Eggsy had his own peculiar way of getting back at those that rubbed him the wrong way - a way that Harry never questioned. 

Eggsy turned to face the store attendant, his face blank. “Well what are yeh still doin’ ‘ere bruv? Didn’t ya say yeh was gonna ‘elp?” 

The man blushed, clearly at a loss for words. It was obvious the man new Harry. They both knew the man knew Eggsy’s _husband_ because Harry was a regular customer of theirs.

They both knew Eggsy just had to casually _mention_ to Harry that the man had looked at him with contempt, that he had dared to say Eggsy didn’t have the means to buy whatever the fuck he wanted whenever the fuck he wanted, wherever the fuck he wanted, and Harry would flip his shit on them. They both knew that - right now - Eggsy could very well have the man fired, if he wished. 

Eggsy smiled deviously, before sauntering away to grab Harry’s hand. He’d let the man suffer this one out, mostly because he had reminded him of that fuckface Charlie.  

Sometimes having become a posh bastard himself had its perks. 

 

M _y partner in life,_

 

“Ah, you must be Mr. Hart,” a well dressed man said, holding a folder close to his chest. “I’m Andrew.” 

Eggsy nodded, trying to catch his breath as he gave the man a friendly smile. “Hi Andrew. Sorry for the lateness. I was stuck in traffic.” 

“oh it’s no problem,” the man said opening one of the manilla folders. “So, shall we head out to check out those houses?”

“Ah, I’m afraid ‘arry ain’t ‘ere yet,” Eggsy said, giving the man an apologetic look. “He got caught up in a meetin’, and he just got out, so he’s still on ‘is way.”  Never mind that the meeting had actually been Harry sitting a terrorist down to “talk” and get whatever information he could out of him. 

“Well, perhaps we can start the tour without him, and he can catch up?” The man murmured affably, trying to find the best way to both safe time and get his job done. 

Eggsy shook his head. “No, bruv, choosing a ‘ouse we both like is real important to me, ya know? We’re gonna live there for who knows how long. ‘Sides, ‘arry would never let me live it down.” 

The man stifled a sigh, seeing the determination in Eggsy’s eyes. “Well then, let’s at least get a head start by going to the first location. We can all meet there.”

Eggsy shrugged, taking out his phone to call Harry. He did feel a bit guilty for making the sales agent wait for so long, but at least the guilty party here had been Harry - well, mostly - and not himself. Harry, who had never been there on time for anything except their wedding almost four years ago. Harry, who had been the one to suggest moving in the first place after Eggsy had mentioned Daisy needed a bigger room than the guest room now that she was getting older. Harry, who was almost half an hour late.   

Oh he was going to enjoy teasing Harry about this one. 

 

_and my one true love._  

 

Harry ordered his and Eggsy’s drink, smiling softly at the bartender in thanks. He sat down, freezing as a hand made its way down his forearm. He looked down at where a woman was grabbing him softly by the wrist, clearly meaning no harm. 

“What is such a gorgeous looking gentleman doing here alone?” She said casually, her eyes darkened with lust. 

Harry looked up, assessing the woman who looked no older than Eggsy. She had a lovely countenance, and cherry red lips that lesser men would have begged to kiss. Harry gave her a polite smile, removing himself from her hold. 

While he certainly felt flattered by the attention, he did have a horny husband - whom he was planning on thoroughly ravishing later - waiting for him at his table. “I’m afraid I’m only here to pick up my and my _husband’s_ drinks,” he said as kindly as possible, his words still holding an air of finality. 

The bartender came back with his drinks and he took them quickly, giving the woman one last polite nod before running back to his table, where Eggsy was sitting, not looking back. 

He gave Harry an amused look. “Did yeh blew that poor bird off?” 

“Would you have preferred I led her on?” Harry teased, a brow raised. “I _was_ wearing my ring, you know.”

Eggsy hummed, leaning in to kiss Harry meaningfully. “Didn’t say yeh should ‘ave done nothin’, but it would ‘ave been fun to walk up there and kiss ya in front of her to stake my claim.”

Harry rolled his eyes, capturing Eggsy’s lips once more. He bit the younger man’s lower lip before purring out “possessive much?” 

“Oh, please, look who’s talkin’” Eggsy scoffed, chuckling as Harry growled. 

“Well it’s not my fault that every man and woman out there seems to have a fixation with you,” Harry said in a serious tone. 

Eggsy chuckled, picking up his drink. “Yeh almost broke what’s-his-name’s wrist last year just ‘cause he hit on me.” 

“If you expect me to regret that you’ll be waiting a long time,” Harry warned, as he pulled Eggsy’s chair closer to his own, a sharp, proud smile on his face. 

Eggsy just huffed out a laugh, leaning against Harry’s chest. “I don’t care if yeh are a jealous bastard, so long as the only person that can make yeh turn to look is me.” 

Harry tilted Eggy’s chin up, his eyes darkening. “You know you are,” Harry said heatedly, a small, loving smile blooming on his lips. 

 

_I will cherish our friendship_  

 

Eggsy and Harry sat next to each other, listening intently to Jamal’s story. Harry let his hand fall delicately on top of Eggsy’s, neither man saying a thing - they didn’t need to. This wasn’t their first time doing this. They had gone to enough charities and events while on missions over the five years that Eggsy had been at Kingsman. They had played it all; coworkers, lovers, strangers… 

They knew how to move together in almost perfect unison. Eggsy knew when to move out of the way so that Harry could blast away their assailants. Harry knew when Eggsy needed him to stand as his personal pole to be able to face kick every asshole trying to kill them. They knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths, and they knew how to complement each other. 

But of course, today they weren’t on a mission. It wasn’t Arthur and Guinevere today. It was Harry and Eggsy; two married men stuck in a school reunion event. 

Truth be told, Eggsy hadn’t been particularly excited about coming, but Harry had insisted that he should see his friend in a more normal setting, and so they had come. Eggsy would never admit it, but he was kind of glad Harry had forced him to come. 

He hadn’t expected the man to take such an active role in pampering both Eggsy’s friends and the wankers whom Eggsy still despised. The man had been the perfect prince charming - as usual - making every single girl feel jealous and every guy feel insecure. 

It had been - so far - fucking fantastic. He couldn’t wait for the Tango he had requested to start playing. He would get Harry to show off, and do all kinds of devious things to him on the dance floor, in front of everyone. 

Oh yes, Harry’s idea of coming here had been fuckin’ brilliant. 

 

_and love you today,_

 

Eggsy leaned against the doorway, feeling like his heart was ready to burst with happiness and _love_ at the sight of Harry asleep on the couch. It was their first day off together in a month, and they had decided to just relax for once. 

Eggsy walked towards Harry, leaving the popcorn on the coffee table. He touched his lover’s hair softly, moving it away from Harry’s eyes. He had always enjoyed seeing Harry sleep. The man looked so utterly peaceful, so free of stress and worry. When he slept he didn’t have to be Arthur. He didn’t have to be the world’s savior or a killing machine. In his sleep, he could relax, dream of his quiet days with Eggsy. 

It never failed to take Eggsy’s breath away. It also never failed to make his eyes prickle and his skin itch because he couldn’t give Harry that weightless peace so free of responsibilities. No matter how much Eggsy tried, the fact remained that Harry _was_ Arthur; he was the man everyone went to when things went wrong. 

Not that Harry ever complained. Hell, Eggsy was sure the man would constantly complain if he wouldn’t have the job. It was part of who Harry was. The only thing more important than the work was Eggsy. 

They both knew that, and Eggsy was okay with that. 

“Hey,” Eggsy whispered, softly touching Harry’s arm, knowing that Harry wouldn’t appreciate waking up on the couch in the morning. “C’mon babe, let’s get yeh all ready for bed, yeah?” 

Harry’s eyes snapped open, taking in a somnolent breath, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. “No, no I’m fine. We can watch the movie.” 

Eggsy shook his head, pulling Harry up by the hand. “We’re both tired. We should sleep a bit. ‘Sides, it ain’t like we ‘aven’t watched Pretty Woman before.” 

 

_tomorrow,_  

 

Roxy sat down next to Eggsy, a small smile on her face. “is there a particular reason why you sent Harry to the doghouse?”

Eggsy, who had been playing with the pen in his hand, froze, turning to look at Roxy with no small amount of surprise. “how did ya know?”

“You haven’t gone into his office all day. You didn’t even look at him during the meeting and left first,” Roxy murmured, enumerating with her fingers. She paused, giving him a knowing smirk. “Should I go on?”

“S’nothin’ important,” Eggsy murmured, not meeting Roxy’s eyes. 

‘It’s obviously important to you,” Roxy said gently as she squeezed Eggsy’s knee. She was pretty sure she knew why he was mad, but she needed to confirm her suspicions. 

Eggsy shuffled in his seat, blushing. He still wouldn’t meet his best friend’s penetrative glare. “it’s just that our fifth year anniversary is next week, and all of a sudden he mentions that he has this big stupid meetin’ in Paris that he can tell me nothin’ about. An then Merlin sort of mentioned that that guy who has a crush on ‘arry is gonna be there too, and it’s just annoyin’ because it is _our_ anniversary. I mean he’s fuckin’ Arthur, he coulda changed the meetin’ to a different day or somethin’ but no. He just-”

“Oh, Eggsy, it’s not like that,” Roxy said immediately, throwing caution to the wind. She refused to see her friend in pain when she could help him - and help Harry for that matter. “There’s no meeting, Eggsy. Harry asked Merlin for a few days off to take you to Paris and then to Ireland.” She gave him a sheepish smile. “It was supposed to be a surprise.” 

Eggsy gaped at her, his eyes going wide. Oh fucking hell, he had fucked this one up hadn’t he?

“Rox, I sent him to the couch last night,” Eggsy said, suddenly feeling horribly guilty. He buried his head in his palms. “I’m the worst-”

“Stop it Eggsy, you didn’t know,” Roxy chided good-naturedly. “Besides, you are not supposed to know, so you’re going to have to be surprised come next week.” 

Eggsy suddenly bursted out laughing, but nodded, giving Roxy a wink. “Don’t worry, Rox, I ain’t gonna let ‘em know yeh told me anything. All I’m gonna do is go make it up to Harry, ya know?” 

“Oh god, please tell me you’re not going to do what you think you’re going to do,” Roxy said as she stood up, paling. 

“I don’t know what yeh are talkin’ about, mate,” Eggsy told her in an innocent tone, getting up and sauntering to the door. 

“I swear to god, Eggsy, if I walk by Harry’s office, and I hear either of you-”

Eggsy just chuckled, turning to give his friend a mischievous look. “And ‘ere I thought yeh was gonna ask me to keep your chair unspoiled.” 

Roxy looked ready to throw up as Eggsy laughed himself silly. “Oh you disgusting prick. Why am I even friends with you?” 

 

_and forever._

 

Eggsy sat on one of the chairs by the kitchen table, a glass of water in front of him, and a piece of paper in his hands. He was biting his lower lip and fidgeting on the seat, clearly wound up. 

_What if Harry didn’t like his idea? What if he freaked out?_ Eggsy really wanted this to work. 

Harry observed him from the door for a moment, a frown creasing his face. He hated seeing Eggsy worried or distressed. The need to help his lover, to reassure him, to hold him, to protect him, was almost overwhelming. 

Harry wanted nothing more than to run to Eggsy’s side and take away all his worries, but there was something preventing Harry from moving; Eggsy had come into the kitchen. He had purposefully gone somewhere to be alone, which meant he either wasn’t ready to tell Harry, or he didn’t want Harry to know. 

Fucking hell. Harry had never felt so powerless. 

Suddenly Eggsy buried his face in his palms, cursing softly. Harry’s heart twisted painfully, and his will to respect Eggsy’s privacy snapped like a twig. He refused to let his husband suffer if he could help him. 

“Eggsy, love, what’s the matter?” Harry murmured softly, not wanting to startle the younger man. 

Eggsy yelped anyways, jumping softly on his seat. He turned to face Harry, his heart skyrocketing as he swallowed hard. Oh god, this was it. This was the moment where his idea would either be well received or brutally shut down. 

He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear Harry say no. 

“Eggsy, my darling, talk to me please,” Harry practically begged, coming to kneel by Eggsy’s chair. He took both of Eggsy’s hands in his, squeezing them softly. 

Eggsy took a deep breath, not really sure how to proceed. “I was just thinkin’… Well we’ve been together for five years now, and you’ve known me seven…” Eggsy started, sounding unsure. 

Harry paled, thrown completely off. Was this Eggsy’s way of breaking up with him? “Eggsy?” He breathed out, not able to say more than that as his lungs closed off, leaving him dizzy. 

Eggsy looked away, still biting his lower lip. “I just… I wanna ‘ave kids, ‘arry.” 

Harry paled, dropping one of Eggsy’s hands to grab onto the table, his knuckles turning white. “Oh,” was all he managed as his heart threatened to give out.

So he wouldn’t get to keep his husband after all. He would have to give Eggsy up to some woman, because - at the end of the day - he physically couldn’t give Eggsy what he wanted. 

He couldn’t give his husband children. 

Harry looked down, his eyes suddenly swelling with tears. Never had he detested being a man as much as he did now. He was inadequate for the task. He would have to lose the man he loved because he was inadequate for the task. 

“Have you, uh, thought about whom you’ll…is she nice? Does she treat you well?” Harry whispered, his head-to-mouth filter gone. He knew he was being extremely rude by asking, but he needed to know. He needed to know that the person that would replace him would at least treat Eggsy well. 

Eggsy frowned, looking confused. “What?” 

“The woman you’ve chosen as your…partner,” Harry said tightly, not sure why Eggsy was making him spell this out. Could he not see how unbearably painful this was to Harry? Couldn’t he see that Harry was already preparing his next move, that he was preparing himself to curl into a ball and never resurface the minute Eggsy left?

Eggsy gaped, looking insulted. “What the fuck are yeh on about, ‘arry? I ‘aven’t chosen a - What the fuck?” 

Harry dared to look up, meeting Eggsy’s angry eyes with his own saddened ones. “It’s alright, Eggsy. I am not… I understand that you want a… you want a real family.” 

Harry could almost hear his uncle uttering those words to him when he had been but twelve years old. 

_You’ll never have a real family if you don’t change, boy. You fags will never have real families. Do you understand? Being a fag is unnatural, and you’ll never have a family if you don’t change your ways, boy._

Oh, Harry felt sick. He staggered to his feet, his hands trembling slightly as his uncle’s voice grew stronger and stronger in his head. He gave his back to Eggsy, not able to look at his husband’s face without breaking. 

“What? Yeh are my fuckin’ family, ‘arry. What kind of bullshit is that?” Eggsy said, standing up as well, looking furious. 

Harry whirled around, looking half crazed. “I can’t give you kids, Eggsy. I am not a woman,” he snapped. 

“I wasn’t asking you to,” Eggsy said, the pieces of the puzzle finally clicking into place. “Oh my god, ‘arry, I ain’t goin’ anywhere you damn nob. I wanna ‘ave kids with _you_. I was thinkin’ we could get a surrogate, luv.” 

“Oh,” Harry said, his face turning blank as he sagged with relief. He wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t thought of that. 

“Yes, _oh_ ,” Eggsy murmured as he came closer to kiss Harry. “So what do yeh think?” 

“I think it’s one of the worst ideas you’ve had, considering our jobs,” Harry admitted as he tried not to smile at Eggsy’s pout. “But I want it, so badly. I want to have a family with you Eggsy. I really do.” 

Eggsy gasped, throwing his arms around Harry, a cry of joy escaping him. 

They were going to have a family. They were going to have a _baby_. 

 

_I will trust you_

 

Eggsy ran down the hallway, skidding to the side as a torrent of bullets fell upon him. He hid behind the wall, screwing his eyes shut as he cursed his fate. He was minutes away from dying, and he hadn’t even gotten to see his son.  

“Guinevere I need you to get out of there, now” Harry murmured, his voice frenzied. 

“‘a- Arthur what are yeh doin’ in Merlin’s office. Miranda is in labor, bruv!” Eggsy growled, crouching as more soldiers appeared. 

“She is still not fully dilated,” Harry said quickly. “Besides, it’s my job to bring my son’s dad back home in one piece, so now shush and listen to me.” 

“I’m all ears, babe,” Eggsy said, feeling suddenly very calm even as more people encroached in on him. Harry would get him out of there alive. He had no doubt. 

“Run to the balcony and jump,” Harry said, his voice strained by stress. “There will be a team ready to catch you. On my mark, are you ready?” 

“Always,” Eggsy said breathlessly, steading himself. 

“Three, two, one, run!” Harry barked.

Eggsy took off as if the devil himself was chasing him. He shot the window to pieces, jumping without even thinking, without looking down first to check if there really was a team. He just jumped, closing his eyes with a smile. 

Harry would be there to catch him. Well the team would be, and by extension Harry. 

Eggs felt a net catch him and slow down his fall, delivering him to the ground safe and sound. 

“Thank you, babe,” Eggsy whispered as a myriad of agents helped him out of the net. 

“Come home to us safely, Eggsy,” Harry murmured, sounding slightly less tense. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon. Give Will a kiss for me will ya?” 

 

  _and honor you._  

 

“Daddy, why do people say mean things about papa?” William said, looking up at his father as he put his book down. 

Eggsy, who had been sitting on his favorite armchair answering emails as his son read, frowned. “What do you mean, love? Who’s been sayin’ mean things?” 

“Those people wearing the same onesie,” William said, motioning with his hands. 

Eggsy’s frowns deepened. “The recruits? What did they say?” 

His son looked away as he blushed softly. “I don’t wanna say it, dad.” 

Eggsy stood up, coming to kneel next to his son. “It’s alright, Will. I just want to know so that I can talk to ‘em and ask ‘em to stop.” 

His son nodded hesitantly before whispering “They said that he was a pur- uh… per-vert because they say you and papa kissing, and they said he probably made all his agents do things like that to get their jobs. ” William’s eyes filled with tears. “Does he do that, dad?” 

Eggsy’s vision blurred as white hot rage filled him, keeping him from breathing. How dare those pigs insult his husband, and more importantly, how dare they insult Harry in front of their son? 

“No, baby, your papa would _never_ do that. He is not a pervert, nor does he kiss other people. He kisses me because he _loves_ me and I kiss 'im because I love 'im, just like he kisses your forehead every night or hugs you when you’re sad.” Eggsy smiled, cradling his son’s face in his hands. “It’s to show us he loves us with all his heart and all his soul, baby. He wouldn’t dream of kissing other people, baby. He loves us too much.” 

His son bit his lip. “but then why did those boys-”

“Because they are jealous twats who don’t know anything about the world. Don’t worry, babe, I’ll talk to them and get them to apologize to you for saying such nasty things, a’right?” 

“Alright dad,” his son said, grinning at Eggsy. 

Eggsy kissed his forehead before taking out his phone. “Merlin? I need you to stay with Will for a little bit. Harry won’t be back until later tonight, but there’s something I need to do now.”

————————-

Eggsy walked into the recruit holding area, looking murderous. The recruits ran to get into line, all looking expectantly at Eggsy. 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” Eggsy said, his voice as cold as ice, his chav accent nowhere to be found. “It has come to my attention that your behavior has been most repugnant lately.” 

The recruits all stood up straighter, clearly on edge due to Eggsy’s dark demeanor. They didn’t really know him - Merlin had been the only one to train them this time around - but it was clear by the way Eggsy held himself that he was more than just an agent. 

“The agents of this organization are first and foremost ladies and gentlemen. We all hold ourselves to the highest standards of civility and accept no bigotry,” Eggsy murmured as he paced from one side to the other, his movements making him look even more predatory than before. “So, having said that, I want you to explain to me why is it that you dared talk ill of the head of this organization, and - to make matters worse - in front of an eight year old boy.” Eggsy spoke through gritted teeth, clearly containing his rage. 

Four of the boys paled, finally understanding how fucked they were. 

Eggsy undid the first button of his jacket, his signet ring gleaming under the low lights. “You know, I had expected the talks about me and my husband’s age difference to end once I turned forty last year, but clearly I was wrong.” Eggsy stepped closer to the recruits who did not dare to move in fear of incurring even more wrath. “While my husband and I are used to such depraved talks, our _son_ isn’t, so you can imagine my shock when I saw him sitting on the couch today, looking as sad as he did when our puppy died, because a band of brats does not seem to understand the meaning of civility.” 

One of the boys stumbled backwards, clearly planning to run for it. Eggsy suddenly pulled out his gun and aimed it directly at the younger man. “If you run, boy, you can be sure that will be the last thing you do.” 

The room got suddenly very quiet, every eye trained on Eggsy’s weapon. “Given that Arthur is not here, and I am in charge until his return, I am going to make an executive decision.” Eggsy lowered his gun, but didn’t put it away, leaving the threat in the air. “Everyone with the exception of Lancelot’s, Percival’s, and Arthur’s candidate are dismissed. You have proven that not only can you not behave like civilized people, you also have no respect nor loyalty to the head of this institution. There will be someone here to escort you out of the premises within the next ten minutes. You will never set a foot back here, and remember that we _will_ know if you talk about us. Do not give me an excuse to find you, because I _will_ kill you.” 

With that, Eggsy sauntered out of the room, not bothering to look back at the shaky group of recruits. 

 

_I will laugh with you_  

 

Eggsy pushed Harry against the wall as soon as he walked in, muffling Harry’s startled yelp by covering his husband’s lips with his own. 

Harry moaned as Eggsy melted against him, forcing Harry to hold him up by grabbing him by his thighs. “Eggsy, William will-”

“He’s over at me mum’s place today,” Eggsy reminded him, slightly breathless. “We ‘ave the night all four ourselves today.” 

“Oh fuck yes,” Harry groaned deliciously against Eggsy’s mouth, suddenly howling him up as he carried him up the stairs. Eggsy wrapped his legs around his lover, laughing breathlessly as Harry threw him unceremoniously onto the bed. 

“God, you look beautiful,” Harry murmured as he knelt on the floor, tracing his hands up and down Eggsy’s thighs. 

“Yer knees are not gonna like that,” Eggsy said, suddenly sitting up. “‘sides, if yeh suck me off I’m gonna come, and I wanna come with yeh inside me.” 

Harry gave him a half smile, rising to his feet as he undid his tie. “You don’t think I can make you come twice?” 

“Babe, I don’t think either one of us has the energy to come more than once,” Eggsy murmured as he took off his shirt and his pants.

Harry tilted his head to the side, throwing his shirt to the side. “Are you calling us old?” 

“We _are_ old,” Eggsy said easily, rising to his tiptoes to kiss his husband. 

“You are still two years younger than I was when I met you,” Harry pointed out as he moved to kiss and lick Eggsy’s neck. 

“How the fuck did you keep up with me?” Eggsy teased, earning himself a harsh bite than had him seeing stars. 

“Have you looked at yourself in a mirror?” Harry said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I couldn’t get enough of you.” 

“Couldn’t?” Eggsy murmured, trying to sound offended, but failing miserably. 

“Can’t” Harry amended once he finally pushed Eggsy back down onto the bad. “I will never get enough of you.” 

“Good,” Eggsy murmured, suddenly breaking into peels of laughter as Harry nipped at the dip on his waist. “Fuckin’ hell, ‘arry.” 

“It’s been over twenty years and you’re still so ticklish,” Harry murmured, marveled, as he continued to kiss Eggsy. 

“Oh my god stop or I’m going to pee myself,” Eggsy gasped out in between bouts of laughter. 

Harry chuckled. “Shameless as always.” 

“Well you’re the one that won’t stop teasin’” Eggsy said, his cheeks still flushed, his laughter finally subsiding. 

Harry kissed him softly, enjoying the taste of his lover’s lips before suddenly dipping lower to blow raspberries on his husband’s stomach. Eggsy screamed in surprise, twitching away as he laughed, cursing at Harry. Harry merely laughed, not letting Eggsy out of his clutches as he drove Eggsy mad with the tickling. 

 

_and cry with you._

 

Eggsy took out the last bag from the truck, clearly holding back tears. William suddenly came from behind him, holding him gently. 

“It’s okay, dad, I’ll be back soon. I’ll see you in December,” The young man murmured, trying to console his father. 

“That is months away,” Eggsy said with a roll of his eyes, though he most certainly did not whine. “oh god, I can’t believe you’re going to Uni now. I feel so old.” 

“That’s because you are,” Harry said without missing a beat, trying to lighten the mood. He came to stand with his husband, giving his son a loving look. He opened his arms and William all but ran into his father’s embrace, finally letting out a sob. 

“We are a phone call away,” Harry reminded him as he ran his hands through his son’s hair. “Besides, your uncle Merlin will be watching you day and night.”  Suddenly Harry’s expression turned a bit more serious as he took his son’s face in his hands. “Don’t forget that manners maketh man, and you, my son, are first and foremost a gentleman. Enjoy yourself, but don’t forget your values.” 

“What he’s tryna tell yeh is to not become a posh wanker like most of this lot,” Eggsy said as he leaned softly against the car, looking at his two boys with a bright smile. “Also don’t forget to call, ‘cause if I don’t ‘ear from yeh for a period longer than two weeks I am comin’ to rear yer ass.” 

William laughed but nodded, still not letting go of Harry. 

Harry, knowing that his son still didn’t know how to let go of them, kissed his forehead just like he used to do every night when he was a child. “Don’t worry, my boy. You will enjoy the next four years, trust me.” 

William nodded, finally letting go of Harry to kiss Eggsy on the cheek. “I love you guys.” 

“And we love yeh, babe,” Eggsy said as he patted his son’s cheek. “Now go get ‘em, tiger.” 

His son nodded, finally picking up his bags to go into his new suite. Eggsy turned to Harry as soon as his son was out of sight. He buried his head into the crook of Harry’s neck, a sob escaping him. 

Harry held him, stifling a sob of his own. “It’s alright love. It’s time to let him become his own man.”

“I know but he’s still my baby,” Eggsy said, holding on tightly to Harry. 

“I know, my love. I know,” Harry murmured, kissing the top of his husband’s head. 

 

  _I will love you faithfully_  

 

Harry left his glass of scotch on the table as he stood , turning to look at Eggsy with kind eyes. Hi husband was sitting at the other end of his study, a large tome in his now more worn hands. He was still young - not even fifty three yet - but he certainly was not the twenty five year old Harry had met over two decades ago. His perfectly smooth skin had a few crinkles now, and quite a few white hairs in his still mostly blond head. 

It was something Harry constantly teased him about, given that Harry - at his proud age of seventy eight - had less gray hairs than Eggsy, and had unnaturally few wrinkles for his age. It was something that pissed Eggsy off to all hell, but it was also something both men were secretly pleased about. However, no matter how much Harry would tease him about growing older, Eggsy was still the same man Harry had married twenty five years ago. He was still the same cheeky, kind, witty, spirited man whom Harry had fallen in love with. He still had the same spirit. 

The time had flown by, if he was honest. Having a kid, and raising him alongside Eggsy had been… the best decision they had made together. William had brought such warmth to their lives, such love. Every hardship had been easier to endure, every mission more bearable. Those twenty one years with his little boy had flown by… and now he was a grown man, on his third year at Oxford. 

Harry walked towards the radio and put on a jazz song, before turning towards his husband. He offered Eggsy his hand, smiling as his husband stood up with an indulgent smile. Harry brought him closer, enveloping Eggsy in his warmth as he swayed them both around the small study. 

Eggsy placed his head near Harry’s collarbone and allowed his husband to lead, listening to the rhythmic _ba dums_ of Harry’s heart. They danced for hours, just enjoying one another’s presence, forgetting about the outside world. 

“Will called,” Harry murmured eventually, his voice barely a whisper. Still, he knew it was loud enough for Eggsy to hear. 

Eggsy smiled, not moving from where he was. “What did he say?” 

“He’s got a new girlfriend,” Harry said lightly, running his hand up and down Eggsy’s back. 

Eggsy stiffened slightly and hummed. “Did yeh get ahold of ‘er record?” 

“Merlin is looking into it right now,” Harry assured him, not letting go of his husband. “Don’t worry, it won’t be like last time.” 

“I still can’t believed they sent a bloody agent to fuck our son just to get to you,” Eggsy growled low in his throat. 

Harry kissed the top of his husband’s head, never once stopping their dance. “Don’t worry, I think they got the message not to involve our son after you so creatively killed that young lady.” 

“hey I ain’t the one that blew to bits ‘alf their headquarters and killed the head of that shithead organization,” Eggsy reminded his husband. “Out of the two of us, I was the nicest one.” 

Harry hummed noncommittally, knowing he couldn’t exactly argue that. Still, their overreaction had at least helped William not to break down, if only because of shock and a sudden surge of overwhelming love for his slightly crazy parents. 

 

_Through the best_

 

Harry sat at the head of the table, his hands entwined and his head resting on the outside of his hands. He quietly studied everyone sitting at the table, taking his time to analyze the young woman who had come to visit them with William. 

It was so…strange, having a kid who had not only graduated college but who had decided to move into a flat in central London with a girl whom he was just introducing to his parents. 

Harry still had to talk to his boy about what he thought of _that_. 

He watched his husband crack a rather… dirty joke, and he watched William laugh just like he used to when he was but a child. He saw his son clutch his stomach as he tried to compose himself to no avail. He saw his husband grin at his son, and Harry saw the young woman’s eyes light up with mirth and awe as she smiled at Eggsy, clearly noticing how important Eggsy was to William. 

Harry remained quiet for most of the dinner, observing, analyzing, planning. 

“Papa are you alright?” William said, looking at Harry with wary eyes. Harry turned his eyes to him, noticing every small, nervous movement - his son was fidgeting. 

Oh.

He had been quiet most of the night, going so far into his head that he had completely tuned everyone out in his effort to see whether or not the girl sitting next to his son was worthy of his love. And - because of his silence - his son had assumed the worst. 

Harry stood up and gave him a loving smile before giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Never better, love. There’s no need to worry.” 

“Your pops just gets weird sometimes,” Eggsy quipped, giving his husband a knowing look. 

Harry glanced back at Eggsy, stifling a challenging growl. Instead he just smiled at his husband, that smile he used when he wanted to let Eggsy know in advance how badly he was going to pay for his cheekiness. 

Eggsy suddenly blushed, answering Harry’s challenge by turning to the side to give his husband a better view of his open legs. 

_Oh the cheeky-_

“oh my god you two need to get a room,” William said, looking almost mortified. “Honestly, you’re so shameless.” 

Eggsy threw his head back and laughed, sitting properly once again. “Don’t worry, Will, we’ll behave until you’re both asleep.” 

“Oh my god I did _not_ need to know that,” his son whined, screwing his eyes shut. 

 

_and the worst,_

 

Harry sat in the waiting room, his shoulders hunched and his head buried in his hands. 

“Father,” William breathed out as he skidded into the waiting room, falling to his knees in front of his father. “Oh, papa,” he said, bringing Harry in for a hug. 

“It’s alright, son. It’ll be alright,” Harry whispered, forcing himself to stay strong, to not break now that his son was here. He owed it to him to be strong. Harry needed to be strong so that his son wouldn’t drown in a sea of sorrow. 

He needed to be strong for the both of them. 

“What if dad doesn’t… what if he doesn’t-” William choked on his own words, a sob racking his body. 

“Shhh, it’s alright, love. Eggsy will be just fine. The doctors are taking good care of him,” Harry assured his child - who, at his twenty six yeas of age, was no longer a child - patting his head, finally taking on his role. 

Harry fell to his knees, knowing he’d be paying for that later, to hug William properly. 

“Mr. Hart?” A nurse said suddenly from behind him. 

Harry turned to look at the newcomer, not bothering to stand up. “Yes?” 

“We have just managed to stabilized your husband, sir. He was heavily hurt, but he should be just fine in a few months time.” 

Harry let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, thanking heavens for small mercies. “Can I see him?”

“Not yet, sir, but I’ll be taking you to see him as soon as I’m able.” 

Harry nodded stiffly, turning once again to face his son, wiping away the younger man’s tears. “He’ll be alright, William. He’ll be alright.” 

_Through the difficult_  

 

Harry opened the door to their home. feeling weary to the bone. He had never particularly loved being Arthur, but it was getting harder and harder daily. He was finally starting to feel his age. He needed a break. He needed to - for once - not worry about what meetings he had, or who was the next person that would rise up wanting world domination. He needed a weekend just with his family without having to even look at his phone. 

Or perhaps what he really needed was not be reminded of the fact that his best friend was gone. Perhaps the real problem was that going to HQ everyday was physically painful for him, because of all the memories there. Perhaps it was that he needed to stop hearing Merlin’s laughter or his teasing or his rightfully outraged screams, when Harry fucked up, every time he walked into his office or the tech department. 

Harry sighed softly, feeling his pain settle in his bones. They had known it was coming, but it still hurt. He still missed that Scottish bastard more than he could say. 

Harry froze as he heard a small sob coming from the adjacent room. He made his way quickly into the room, feeling his heart stutter to a halt as he found Eggsy curled into a ball in their sofa. 

“Eggsy,” Harry whispered as he moved to sit next to his husband. “Darling talk to me, what happened?” 

“Me mum,” he hiccuped. “Me mum was comin’ back from the store when a truck… she’s-”

 Eggsy couldn’t finish off his sentence as another wave of sobs racked his body. 

“Oh my god,” Harry breathed out, moving Eggsy closer. He rearranged the younger man into his lap, pressing his face into the crook of Harry’s neck. Harry rocked them back and forward softly, letting Eggsy cry his heart out. 

He too shed a few tears before brutally clamping down on his own grief. First and foremost came Eggsy and his family. Later he could find a time - in the midst of the darkness of night - to grief for those now gone. Later he could go to the cemetery and cry his heart out. Later he could let drink numb his mind, but right now he was needed. Right now he needed to keep Eggsy from coming apart at the seams. 

Harry turned on his glasses, his feed immediately connecting to one of the handlers. “Ross, get Merlin here.” 

“But sir, she’s busy with the reports of-”

“I do not care what she’s doing, have someone else take over and get her to my home, now,” Harry said in a low voice, trying not to wake up Eggsy, who had fallen asleep from exhaustion and grief. 

“I have bad news for her, and it’ll be best if she’s here so that I can calm her down,” Harry murmured, rubbing circles on Eggsy’s back. 

“Of course, sir. I apologize. She’ll be there soon.” 

Harry sighed, looking at the picture of Merlin and Roxy they kept on top of their chimney. 

First Merlin and now Michelle… he wasn’t sure if Daisy would be able to hold up. The young woman had been extremely attached to Merlin. She had loved him like a father, and now she had lost her mother as well. 

Harry knew very well what it felt like, to lose one’s parent, how alone one could feel. He had hoped never to have to see both Eggsy and Daisy through such pain, but there was no avoiding it. 

He’d hold them both, every step of the way, and they would prevail.

They had to. 

 

A _nd the easy._  

 

Harry fixed his jacket for the umpteenth time, his lips set on a thin line. Eggsy looked over to his husband, noticing the tell tale signs that Harry was nervous and uncomfortable as hell. Eggsy moved to his side to appease him, running his hands up and down Harry’s chest, before settling one hand on Harry’s cheek. 

“What’s the matter babe?” Eggsy said in a hush. 

“Are we doing the right thing letting him marry that woman?” Harry asked immediately. 

Eggsy raised a brow. “I don’t think it was ever our decision to make, luv.” 

Harry bit his lip before whispering. “I know, but he’s so young…”

“Harry Hart, your son is older than I was when I married _you,”_ Eggsy snapped before smiling. “We’ve been married thirty four years now, and we still ‘aven’t killed each other. They’ll be _fine.”_

Harry nodded, still looking a bit tense. “But what if she can’t handle him being gone for long periods of time? Their situation is not like ours, Eggsy. You and I were both agents. She is not an agent, nor will she ever be allowed to know what her husband does.” 

“Harry, William knew exactly what we did since he was ten,” Eggsy said, cradling his husband’s face with both hands. “She already knows what he does, babe. ‘sides, I trust Will’s judgment, and if she changes her mind down the road, well then they wasn’t meant to be is all.” Eggsy pressed his forehead against his husbands. “Let ‘em be, love. Let ‘im go.” 

Harry gave a final sigh before relenting, kissing his husband’s knuckles before kissing his lips. They had gotten softer over the years. The all consuming fire which used to keep them awake every night as they devoured each other, as they learned each nook and cranny of each other’s body had died down. It was still there, oh it would always be there, but now it burned differently. That fire was now warm and comfortable. It was mellower, but no less intense. It was late night conversations and soft kisses. It was breakfast in bed when they could make the time, and foot massages to relieve the pain. It was being there for Harry’s muscle therapy given that his joints no longer worked like they used to, and it was waiting with Eggsy at the ophthalmologist because he needed actual glasses now. 

It was quiet I love yous and hugs that were meant as real goodbyes, just in case they really didn’t see each other again come night time for some reason or other. It was a quiet acceptance that their time together on this earth was almost at an end. 

“Come on,” Eggsy murmured, kissing his husband’s forehead. “It’s time for our boy to get married.” 

 

_What may come I will always be there._  

 

Eggsy watched the rise and fall of his husband’s chest as the man breathed softly, still unconscious. 

God, Eggsy wasn’t ready. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready for this. He had been trying to prepare himself mentally since before his mother had died - which had been almost five years ago - but he still wasn’t ready, not by a long shot. 

He wasn’t sure how to function without Harry. It had been so long since he had had to live this life on his own, he wasn’t sure how one went about it anymore. It wasn’t so much him relying on his husband as it was just being one with him. The house would be too empty without Harry there. He wished there was a way he could keep his husband, if only for a few more years, but he knew it was impossible. 

Harry was ninety now, and his body was ready to let go, to finally get some rest. 

But what about Eggsy? What was Eggsy to do? He was only sixty five at the moment. Was he to live the next twenty five years without his heart? Without his soul? 

Eggsy let out a soundless sob, covering his face as he rocked himself back and forward. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lose Harry. He couldn’t lose the man that had brought a light to his life. 

Suddenly the door to the hospital room opened and in walked a disheveled looking William, looking as lost as he had once been when he was five and he couldn’t find Harry’s face among the sea of parents who had come to see the recital. Harry had had to stand up and wave for his son to calm down. 

But now Harry didn’t have the strength to dispel that heart wrenching look from his son’s face. 

“Dad,” he whispered, choking on the word, his gaze never leaving his father. 

“Come here son,” Eggsy whispered, unable to keep a steady voice. “It’s alright. He’s still here with us. He’s just asleep.” 

William flopped on the chair next to Eggsy, as if in a daze. “Dad-” He seemed to want to say more but no more sounds came out of his mouth. 

Suddenly Harry opened his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on his two boys, one looking worse than the other. He sat up with some difficulty, his eyes never leaving the pair. 

He stretched out his hand wordlessly towards his son. Eggsy gave them a sad smile but moved to the side, letting William have a moment with his father. 

“Papa,” William whispered, taking his father’s hand. “Papa you’ll be alright. Please, papa, please tell me you’ll be alright. I can’t lose you pops, please…” William begged, tears running freely down his face. 

Eggsy took in a sharp breath, trying his best not to break down. Never had he heard his son plead like that. 

Harry took in a ragged breath, a tear escaping his iron clad control. “Oh my son,” He said softly. “I’m afraid there are things we can’t avoid.” Harry reached with his other hand, caressing his son’s face. “Come now, there’s no reason to be sad. I will always be here.” Harry pressed his hand against his son’s heart, giving him a rueful smile. “And here,” Harry whispered as he touched his son’s forehead. “I love you, Will. I am so proud of you, son, of everything you’ve accomplished. You will make a great father one day.” 

William sobbed against his father’s hand, screwing his eyes shut. “I love you, father.” He took another deep breath before looking back at his other father, who looked as pale as a sheet. “I’ll… be outside.” 

Eggsy gave him a grateful look as his son passed by, before he made his way to sit next to his husband.

_As I have given you my hand to hold_  

 

Eggsy took Harry’s hand, his eyes puffy from his earlier crying. “I’m not sure what to say,” he admitted, looking down at their intertwined hands. 

“You can start by promising me you’ll be alright,” Harry suggested softly, his eyes looking tired. 

Eggsy shook his head, his eyes shining with tears once again. “Yeh told me never to make promises I don’t know if I can keep,” Eggsy whispered, his voice cracking at the end. 

“I need you to be okay, Eggsy,” Harry insisted, pulling him by his hand to make his husband look at him.

“It ain't fair,” Eggsy suddenly snapped as the tears overwhelmed him. “We 'aven’t had enough time. We-”

“We’ve had thirty eight years, my love. It’s more than I could have hoped for, given our lifestyle,” Harry said softly, wiping away Eggsy’s tears. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to life without yeh, 'arry,” Eggsy murmured brokenly as he leaned heavily against Harry’s hand. “I don’t know what-”

“Just live your life as you would with me,” Harry said, coughing softly. “Nothing has to change.”

“But I won’t 'ave my beacon of hope anymore,” Eggsy said stubbornly. “I won’t 'ave yeh to make me laugh or to keep me company. The 'ouse will be so empty. I can’t go back to HQ without you. I don’t-”

“Oh, my love,” Harry whispered, bringing Eggsy closer to hug him. “I will always be here with you. I will _always_ love you Eggsy, even when I'm not... here. You made my life brighter, my love, when it had been dark for so long.” Harry wiped away his own tears, kissing Eggsy’s forehead. “It won’t be long Eggsy. We’ll see each other again. I’m sure of it, and I’ll be waiting for you.” Harry looked deeply into his husband’s eyes, wiping away the younger man's tears. “But right now you need to stay here for a bit longer. You need to be strong my love… be strong for our son.” 

Eggsy let out another sob, letting Harry bring him into the comfort of his embrace. 

“Forgive me, my love. I never meant to cause you pain,” Harry whispered, running his hand up and down Eggsy's shaking back. 

Eggsy suddenly pulled back to kiss his Harry desperately, clinging fiercely to his husband as he frantically sought to meld his body with Harry’s, to end the pain, to die together. He sobbed into Harry’s mouth, and he tasted his tears mixed with Harry’s, his rage and hurt mixed with Harry’s comfort and warmth. 

Harry kissed him back as fiercely as he could, knowing that Eggsy needed this. He needed this to say goodbye. 

Finally his husband pulled away, his eyes still red and swollen with tears. “I love yeh, ‘arry. I love yeh so much it fuckin' hurts.”

Harry smiled sadly, giving his husband one last peck. “You and Will are my heart and my soul, Eggsy. You are more than I deserved.” 

 

_So I give you my life to keep._  

 

Eggsy crouched to deposit the flowers on the cold snow, before cleaning away the snow from the tombstone. He smiled softly, his fingers tracing his Harry’s name. 

Even after five years, it still hurt him to the bone. He stood back up, taking a deep breath as he looked up at the bright sky. He allowed the silence to swallow him whole for a moment. He allowed the deep sadness that had become a part of him to show it’s ugly head, before he finally looked down, forcing his sadness back into its box. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come last week,” Eggsy murmured softly. “Will got into an accident in his mission in Bosnia so I was at the 'ospital with 'im, ‘cause he needed a cast.” Eggsy smiled softly. “He’s as reckless as yeh. I’m sure Merlin’s rollin’ in his grave ‘cause of our Will.” Eggsy suddenly chuckled as the picture of Merlin’s I’m-done-with-your-bullshit face came to mind. Daisy had managed to inherit that after so many years of being Merlin's pupil. It was hilarious to see how effective it was on the agents.

“Anyway, things are… they're okay. I still ‘aven’t fucked up as Arthur, so that’s good. Me sis is a fuckin’ badass Merlin, I’m sure yeh and ‘im would be proud. Angelina just ‘ad her second baby, and he looks a lot like yeh, babe. He has yer eyes and yer unruly curls. Will actually named ‘im after yeh,” Eggsy smiled again, this time more sadly. “Yeh woulda loved ‘em so much, babe. Both Jane and ‘arry are fuckin’ adorable. They actually know lots about grandpa ‘arry ‘cause Will never shuts up about you and he has lots of pictures of us at his 'ouse.” 

Eggsy cleared his throat, shuffling his weight as he tried his damnedest to keep the tears in. 

He played with his golden band - a tick he had developed over the last five years. “um, winter’s a bit early this time around, but s’nice. I finally cleared out the attic and your study, though I kept a lot of it, mostly ‘cause Will still wants your papers. Will’s comin’ over for Christmas this year." Eggsy bit his lip before whispering. "I’m thinkin’ ‘bout sellin’ the house, though I still don’t know if I wanna do that or not.” Eggsy rubbed his face, sighing softly. “I should head back now, or Daisy’s gonna worry and she’s gonna send a team lookin’ for me, and then later she's gonna chop me balls.” 

Eggsy pressed a kiss to his fingers before pressing his fingers against the tombstone. “I miss ya so much babe, but I did just like yeh asked. I stayed strong for our boy.” Eggsy smiled sadly. “I’m okay now, 'arry...I kinda now how to live by myself again.” Eggsy nodded to himself, before looking straight at the grave.“I love ya ‘arry. I’ll visit soon, a’right? I promise.”

With that Eggsy put his gloves back on and stood up. “I’m coming soon babe," he promised. "Yeh just ‘afta wait for me a bit longer, a'right?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Ah I hope you liked it! I wasn't expecting this to get this long but it did. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


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